What your so easily letting go
someone else may quickly take
They realize what you dont know
you have the real thing, its not a fake
One day you'll look around
something will feel out of place
the prize someone else found
is the new emptyness you must face
Hold on tightly my dear
others are eager to be whole
this thing that you have here
should not so quickly be sold
About Me
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
A letter I wrote myself a few years ago
Dear Me at 80,Happy Birthday! 80, wow, I am so scared of that age. It seems so old, so much an ending. I feel like at eighty you should have everything all figured out. What was the meaning of your life, what was your path, what happens next time. Who was your great love? Actually, when I was younger, I thought by thirty things would be in good order, and very clear. But I am twenty four. Nothing is in order. Actually its the opposite. I cant see things being quite so drastically different in just six years.
So, me at eighty, how are things? I hope you have traveled. Thats what I hope for the most. I hope you have seen almost everyhting you wanted to, all the coasts, New Zealand, South Africa, and the Amazon. Buddhist temples, Surfing Meccas. The tragic, as well as the euphoric. I am worried I will put everything off, and just never go. I hope you wrote about everything, even if you werent paid to do so. Even if you never became a travel writer, renound novelist, or treasured poet I hope you wrote always.
When you look in the mirror Kristin, what is in your eyes? Is there joy? Have you seen so many wonderous things that they are bright, and are filled with all the beauty your soul has soaked up? Do they reflect the blue of the oceans from your travels? Do they hold quantities of knowing from numerous experiences, or chapters from books read through the years. I want that for you, more then anything else. Is there a touch of sadness from a lost love, a few specks of rain from the days that things seemed an endless struggle? I know it means you have lived. If you have joy as well as sadness I know you have lived completly. You have not held back.
What about your heart, is there love? How many people live there? I hope it is so full that the love is enough to last lifetimes. I hope your heart has opened to meet and love many, many people along the way. And that you did not stop loving one when another entered your path to walk a while with you. Is there a piece of each of them, even those the hardest to love? Does your heart not belong to just you, or one other, or many, but to the universe? I hope you never hardened, I hope even in the face of destitude and misery your heart remained as soft, open, and welcoming as it was at the start, before you knew any better.
Can you hear your soul? Is there peace? Did you follow the path you came here to follow? I hope you never let anyone hold you back. I struggle with that now, I need to listen to my soul more, and others wishes less. Were you able to find a healthy balence? Have you been just to yourself? There will be Karma there, to be worked out in the next life, both good and bad. Unless you are on your last stretch and so your soul is pure. But knowing you, I think you have a few more rounds to go. Have you fed your soul when it was hungry, for travel, for love, for knowledge, for the ocean? I hope you are at peace with your path, I am so worried you have regrets. I wonder, what was the lesson for this life? Or were there many?
Here at 24, things are confusing. I can only hope that when I am your age I am able to look back and see what it was all for. Why I met the people I met, what fate had instore for me. I hope I feel I always chose the path of love, that I have learned from my mistakes, that I stayed true to myself. But overall, I hope it is a life I can be proud of.
So, me at eighty, how are things? I hope you have traveled. Thats what I hope for the most. I hope you have seen almost everyhting you wanted to, all the coasts, New Zealand, South Africa, and the Amazon. Buddhist temples, Surfing Meccas. The tragic, as well as the euphoric. I am worried I will put everything off, and just never go. I hope you wrote about everything, even if you werent paid to do so. Even if you never became a travel writer, renound novelist, or treasured poet I hope you wrote always.
When you look in the mirror Kristin, what is in your eyes? Is there joy? Have you seen so many wonderous things that they are bright, and are filled with all the beauty your soul has soaked up? Do they reflect the blue of the oceans from your travels? Do they hold quantities of knowing from numerous experiences, or chapters from books read through the years. I want that for you, more then anything else. Is there a touch of sadness from a lost love, a few specks of rain from the days that things seemed an endless struggle? I know it means you have lived. If you have joy as well as sadness I know you have lived completly. You have not held back.
What about your heart, is there love? How many people live there? I hope it is so full that the love is enough to last lifetimes. I hope your heart has opened to meet and love many, many people along the way. And that you did not stop loving one when another entered your path to walk a while with you. Is there a piece of each of them, even those the hardest to love? Does your heart not belong to just you, or one other, or many, but to the universe? I hope you never hardened, I hope even in the face of destitude and misery your heart remained as soft, open, and welcoming as it was at the start, before you knew any better.
Can you hear your soul? Is there peace? Did you follow the path you came here to follow? I hope you never let anyone hold you back. I struggle with that now, I need to listen to my soul more, and others wishes less. Were you able to find a healthy balence? Have you been just to yourself? There will be Karma there, to be worked out in the next life, both good and bad. Unless you are on your last stretch and so your soul is pure. But knowing you, I think you have a few more rounds to go. Have you fed your soul when it was hungry, for travel, for love, for knowledge, for the ocean? I hope you are at peace with your path, I am so worried you have regrets. I wonder, what was the lesson for this life? Or were there many?
Here at 24, things are confusing. I can only hope that when I am your age I am able to look back and see what it was all for. Why I met the people I met, what fate had instore for me. I hope I feel I always chose the path of love, that I have learned from my mistakes, that I stayed true to myself. But overall, I hope it is a life I can be proud of.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)