In a year

In a year I

Tried to breathe
I gasped for air,
It was in vain
And
You weren’t there

Lost my vision
It was forever night
pitch black darkness
And
You were nowhere in sight

Screamed out loud
until all I could hear
was ringing in silence
And
You had disappeared

Swam and swam I
thought I would drown
for my arms grew tired
And
You weren’t around

Cried a river that
would continuously flow
I couldn’t stop
And
Why did you go

Cut so deep there’s
a scar I wont show
You’ll never understand
And
You’ll never know

I wish

Lets hide under this blanket,
from the mad world at the door.
Lets go in this old closet,
they cant hurt you anymore.
Ill wrap my arms around you,
Ill keep you safe from pain.
I can hold them back,
They wont get to you again.
Ill fight every single battle,
They will never make it near,
Ill take every cut and blow,
to keep them far away from here.
I would, I wish I could,
with all of my heart,
take away your pain,
and give you a fresh start.

Together again

Connecting again in this life,
like we were never apart.
We found each other finally,
and were re-joined at the heart.
What can sometimes be so hard,
for us comes so easily.
Why did it take me so long?
Why didnt I find you instantly?
Years and lifetimes went by,
each following our own destiny,
then our little stories converged,
and our seperation became history.
Together now, happy and complete,
for the rest of this storyline,
and until in another life we meet.

Gold

To you, what is the value that I hold?
For me, you are worth more then gold.
You are the sparkle, the glitter,and the light,
in your eyes, do I shine nearly as bright?
Your importance to me ranks above the president,
where am I on your list, do I make a dent?
the hero and captain who can do no wrong,
you are the words, the notes, and the song.
And me, do I have this place in your heart?
Or am I doomed to a minimal part?
your eyes do not seem to reflect my value
I fear everything I am has been lost on you
Your words and actions never speak clearly,
I can only hope you regard me as dearly
But you will forever by my north star
no matter how different we are.
One whos script is directly from the heart
and one who acts out the safer part

One day

One day, as snow flakes are blowing in the air,
you will have an overwhelming need to be there
A happy place only you and I know
Somewhere you have been destined to go
The road to reach it is not an easy one
it is not quick or without misfortune
You need a sense of daring to travel here
you must have the courage to persevere
We know this place is warm and light
There is no cold, there is no night
Once you reach it you have been enlightened
you can see there was no need to be frightened
One day, as flower petals are blowing in the air,
you will have finally come to meet me there.




WHen you arrive

A quote for thought..

"Love is. It just is and nothing you can say can make it go away because it is the point of why we are here, it is the highest point and once you are up there, looking down on everyone else, you're there forever. Because if you move, right, you fall. You fall." Lost and Delirious
I love this quote. Its so true, love just is. I think people anaylize love to much. Whats right, wrong, does it fit into their plan, does it fit into their life or perfect vision. They try to control it, try to plan for it, to put expectations on what it should be, who it should be with. And along with inner expectations are the expectations of others; society, friends, family. But one of the greatest things about love is that it is unexpected and unplanned and never perfect. I think people pass up so many great oppurtunitys becuase they feel like love wont fit into their schedule, or that it isnt the way they expected it would be. But love isnt felt in the brain for a reason, its felt with the heart becuase too much thinking drives it away, disguises it as hard work and turmoil. Let it happen, allow it into your life, from any direction that feels right for you, and as the quote says float up above the plans and expectations to a higher place. Because ultimatly, what else is there? Even the most successful people with the perfectly planned out life look at the lovers with envy and what are the lovers looking at? Each other.

Love would be much better

"Where there is perception, there is deception"

Stuck in our heads, our own preceived notions,
makes going forward seem a backwards motion.
In the same experience two different souls,
find a different reality on which to hold.
Our view comes from years of programming,
it takes away from a mutual understanding.
We can not be free clinging to perception,
instead,transcend and find a deeper connection.
Interact with reality minus our points of view,
And a deeper consciousness awaits us two.
There is the possibility, we have never really been free.

In almost 3 decades I learned I am..

Insanely optomistic, a rose colored glasses wearer
a romantic, a poet, and a dreamer
a believer that everything in life has a certain beauty
and everyone we meet a special purpose
A maker of decsions emotionally, not a practical thinker
often doing things backwards or clumbsily
always able to laugh at myself and ridiculous situations
always finding myself in ridiculous situations
an explorer, a traveler, an adveturer,
afraid of nothing except the loss of loved ones, oh and bees
A singer in private and not a performer
a lover of beautiful flowing music, esspecially love songs
a protecter of animals and our flailing planet
not a brilliant thinker, or deep philosophiser, but
always excited to learn from people who are the above things
enriched by different cultures and ways of thinking
a believer of life on other planets in other solar systems,
a beleiver that just because we cant see it or touch it doesnt mean its not there
kind of unorganized but not cluttered, more relaxed in clean clear spaces
a fix it myself, dont ask directions, or read directions kinda person
annoyed by the little details and just like to jump in and go
a lover of life, opportunities, and the future
born with the unquenchable desire to try everything possible
most at home in nature, in the forest or by the ocean
too open, too free, too naieve, too trusting
never thinking about consequences or responsibilities
prone to be too sentimental or sensitive, but
always bouncing back quickly and without a grudge
not a baggage carirer or regret collecter
a huge maker of mistakes, and a learner of mistakes
a laugher, a lover, and a silly dancer
a wine and champagne drinker
deliriously happy, so mabye not too smart
a watcher of old movies and reader of Hemingway
someone who loses or leaves things behind more often then not
someone who believes that its all somehow connected
a believer of living life to the fullest, following dreams, and
never judging people on their own paths
someone who wont stay in an unhappy situation despite the risk to change it
excited about what is ahead, excited to learn more...
who are you?

La Tierra

In an unconscious thought stream,
sadly it was just a dream,
I saw the beauty and,
I felt the simplicity.
The oceans flowing purley,
minus the human foley.
The forests wild and overgrown,
minus the human thrones.
The air clean and clear,
no endangered lists here.
Without our neglect and disrespect,
the earth is, by design, perfect.
What we take we do not return,
impossible to teach those that wont learn.
From one piece of trash to an entire oil slick,
and now the earth is morbidly sick.
You can not patch a billion holes,
or change a trillion careless souls.
We need an epiphany, a new reality,
where the earth gets a new destiny,
one where it is forever healthy.

See you in the next life, when we are both cats

Maybe your one of a kind,
Maybe your common as a dime.
But I can see it in your eyes,
you'd be my perfect size.
And If we had the chance
to take that first dance
would you step on my feet
or make me feel complete
How many chances do we get?
How often can we win the bet,
before we run out of cards?
Before we lose the whole pot?
Maybe its you or maybe its not,
Our future is one hazy summertime,
possibly some adventure and good wine.
Forever doesnt seem meant to be
our paths are diverging seperatly
but not for eternity..

An essay in regards to being alive

We are not dying, we are living. The second death enters our mind is the second that we start to die. Death and life go hand in hand but you can not have one if you have the other. True, if you are living then you eventually must die but you can not live if you are already dead. If you are already in your coffin, or in ashes out at sea, then you cant live. In thinking about death, we are not living. What if we didnt know about death? Think how free we would be... Anything we wanted to do, we would do it. Of course there would still be pain, and social consequence, but the ultimate consequence would be gone! I've heard the saying live as if you will die tomorrow but I think we should live as if we will never die! Live as if there are not limits, no deadlines, no way to miss an opportunity, no regrets, no should haves. Because there is nothing to stop us.
Apply it now to love. What if we loved as if we could not be rejected? If there was no such thing as embarrasment or heartbreak think how free we would be! We could speak of love as soon as we felt it! We wouldnt waste any time with what-ifs and maybes. There would be no shame in loving, no complications, no need to lie or decieve. Most importantly, there would be no fear. The same as you can not have life and death you can not have love and fear. If we have fear we can not have pure love. We can not love people who are different if we fear them, we can not love what we dont understand when we are afraid. If we have war and hate then we have fear and there is no love. If we have peace and unitiy we have love and there is no fear.
To live as if there were no death and to love as if there were no fear, this is being alive.

Unconditional friendship

Like the shark that never stops swimming,
like a charity that never stops giving,
permanent as sand on the ocean floor,
as fierce as a jungle lions roar,
count on my love to be unconditonally there
for you it is more common then it is rare.
Its not a passing ship in the night
or an occasional beacon of light
Steady as the burning sun at mid day
I dont even have to try, it just stays that way
It doesnt need attending like a garden flower
It doesnt require a lot of thought or man power
Nothing can be done to undo it
Nothing can cause harm to it
Like lights decorating a christmas tree
like a bright school of fish in the sea
all you add to my life is beauty

Cheers

Dance through life with me
take my hand and glide blissfully
across an everchanging floor
Laugh through the days with me
take a problem and set it free
with a joke and smile
Explore through the years with me
every inch of earth we've yet to see
we'll view together
Dream through the nights with me
all our dreams were meant to be
for we have found each other

Lost eternally

Quickly through woods, there is freshly fallen snow
and sky clustered with stars fighting for space
and a breath that forms clouds in front of a face
Ears that burn from the biting cold
frozen teeth, red cheeks, and icy lashes
pushing forward with visions of a fire
heart brimming with unexplainable desire
what is this thirst, why so unclenchable
driving a body forward into the night
driving a mind towards an endless plight
boots sinking in mounds of frozen fluff
Eyes searching for the right direction
but the woods are large and the night is dark
that faroff fire is fading without a spark
What remains is a soul lost in the woods
eternally

You dont realize

What your so easily letting go
someone else may quickly take
They realize what you dont know
you have the real thing, its not a fake

One day you'll look around
something will feel out of place
the prize someone else found
is the new emptyness you must face

Hold on tightly my dear
others are eager to be whole
this thing that you have here
should not so quickly be sold